Sochi 2014

An exclusive report from Clare Baldwing for the Duck Broadcasting Corporation at the Duck Winter Games in Sochi…

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“We are witnessing a momentous event in British Sport. Speed Skating Star Kate “the skate” who has been through such a lot in the past few months with an injured wing, has taken Gold at the 2014 Olympic final, the first time someone from the United KIngdom  has done so.

As the flags were lowered to the British National Anthem, Kate and her best friend and closest rival Danielle from the American team, unfurled a banner which I think says it all. We sincerely hope that our human friends can put aside their prejudices and treat each other with respect and dignity, as we ducks learned to do many years ago.

Joining the athletes at the podium are Pieter the husband of the Russian skater Olga along with their little daughter, as well as Brad and Lisa the partners of Danielle and Kate respectively. It is a double celebration for Kate today as she and Lisa announced their engagement this morning. Both of their families are in the crowd, and viewers I can tell you that there is not a dry eye in the house. What a day to remember. We are all very, very proud.”

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And now for something completely different ..

Dear Duck Friends

Chloe and Olivia have been helping me with my new blog, the first episode of which I published yesterday. It is based on an alternate World War 2 scenario in a field hospital on the front line ( not a duck in sight, unfortunately ).

It is called Vanessa’s War and can be found at http://www.vanessaswar.wordpress.com

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All the ducks hope that you have a peaceful and contented New Year, and will hopefully be back to entertain you soon!

Best Wishes

Dr.Dog.

Twas the night before Christmas ..

Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house,

Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse err I mean duckling,

The stockings were hung by the chimney with care

In hopes that St.Nicholas would soon be there..

photoHe spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,

And filled all the stockings, then turned with a jerk

And laying a finger aside of his nose,

And giving a nod, up the chimney he rose!

 

He sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave a whistle,

And away they flew like the down of a thistle,

But I heard him exclaim, ‘ere he drove out of sight,

“Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good-night! “

Clement Moore.

A Very Feathery Thanksgiving

Petroc, Alice and Julius’ eldest, is coming home for the first time with his new sweetheart to meet the family. His new friend is American and will be having her first Thanksgiving away from home this year. Alice thought it would be nice if they could treat her to a Thanksgiving Meal so she wouldn’t feel left out.

The apple of his Mother’s eye, Petroc, has been away at Billiol College, Camford studying Medicine. He met his sweetheart Jamie on the rugby pitch; well to be exact she was on the sidelines and he was on the pitch being the new left wing for the First Fifteen. Their love of Rugby brought them together –  a sport widely enjoyed by many ducks, consisting of thirty muscular fellows scrambling about on a wet muddy field; a combination of opera, ballet and murder.

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Jamie is a Rhodes Island Red Scholar from a well to do family who made their money speculating on the Duck Jones stock market in New York. When their eyes met it was love at first sight and they have been inseparable ever since.

Alice is very keen to get things just right and the family have been very busy with the preparations for this important meal. A slightly confused Julius was told to return the Rainbow tablecloth he had borrowed from Gerald and Duncan after it was explained carefully to him that Jamie can be a girl’s name as well as a boy’s. The ducklings have been told to be on their best behaviour (!) and Heston, rather miffed that he has been told to have yet another bath, is nevertheless looking forward to a slap up meal.

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The meal is of course vegetarian as all ducks are. Jamie being very involved in Wildfowl Rights has brought a present for Alice, her hostess, a Turkey of her very own to adopt and so save from the dining tables of the humans. The meal goes swimmingly and the new British Holiday of Thanksgiving is deemed a success!

I hope that you too are able to spend some precious time with loved ones this Holiday Season.

The Great British Duck Bake Off 2013

The creation and consumption of all things cake-related is very close to the hearts of all ducks. Inspired by that wonderful people BBC TV programme “The Great British Bake Off”, our feathered friends have arranged their own little baking contest.

Two of our friends have fended off fierce competition to reach the finals. Duncan, self-declared expert in cakes, pastries and biscuits (especially in quality control!) and Chloe, Queen of the eggless sponge, will fight it out to take the honour of being Best Baker. They are being judged by Welsh celebrity cooks Pawl and Mari, aided and abetted by their co-presenters Misses Peckins and Gulldrake. They have all had an exceptionally tough time whittling down the numerous contestants and sampling all their delicious offerings.

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With the contestants evenly matched everything depends on the final “Showstopper” round, the theme of which is “Hollywood!”

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And the result … ?

Duncan, it was judged, had overreached himself by constructing an enormous Empire State Building complete with sugar paste King Kong. Unfortunately this was disqualified for being far too big (and not, as the Twittersphere would have it, because he splattered poor Pawl with cake mix). Mari also thought the texture of the cake was a tad too dry.

Chloe, however, managed to bake the perfect Showstopper; a model of her favourite film alien “E.T. the Extra-Terrestrial’. The decoration was remarkable and the cake was declared “perfectly moist”. A worthy winner for the Great British Duck Bake Off 2013.

Up and down the ponds and streams of the country, hundreds of ducks and drakes have been inspired to get out their mixing bowls and spoons, and start creating. As Misses Peckins and Gulldrake would say, “On your marks, get set…. BAKE !”

Summer Days Drifting Away …

Ahh ! The summer holidays. A magical time for children to play, learn, explore and have fun ( weather permitting ). It seems as though those long balmy days will stretch on forever, well, until the beginning of September anyway, when the school term starts again. This is generally accompanied by parents heaving a massive sigh of relief because, although they will miss the little darlings, as everyone knows, you can have too much of a good thing.

Julius takes the opportunity to spend some quality time with his baby daughters and take them to Twt Park in Cowbridge. Heston is far too cool old to play on the swings, so he has gone off to play football with his mates. Alice is busy being pampered and having her feathers washed at Morgan Hair Design. So the three of them are left to enjoy themselves in the playground.

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On the way to meet Chloe and her ducklings at Caffi Cwac, they pass by the river and can’t resist have a splash about. A people Dad is also having some precious time with his children, showing them how to feed the ducks (properly).

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What better way to end a relaxing afternoon with your children than having tea with your friends and catching up on the local news ?

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Better make sure those uniforms are pressed and alarm clocks are ready ( not long to go now ).

Happy Mardi Gras ! (Hapus Fraster Dydd Mawrth !)

Some of the mallards are on their way to the big city to celebrate the ( feathered ) Cardiff Mardi Gras. ( People Mardi Gras is next Saturday ( not Tuesday ) ; and supported by none other than the UK PM David Cameron ! ). They will proudly march in the parade celebrating LGBT equality and diversity, ending up in the Millennium Stadium – home of Welsh Rugby, where there will be music, dancing and general merry making. However, before they get there, the big city holds many temptations. Unfortunately, Duncan can resist everything except temptation …

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Another One Bites The Dust  ( doughnut that is )

Gerald also gets dragged away from retail paradise with Duncan firmly reminding him “We’re here, we’re Queer and we are NOT going shopping !”

Meanwhile, little James and Ellie get a ride on the back of their “Aunties” Enfys and Susan’s bikes during the parade. Enfys and Susan are the founder members of their local Ducks on Bikes chapter. Enfys finds her bike invaluable for getting around her Roath Park Lake parish, whilst Susan uses hers to deliver flowers and Tupperware from her shop.

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I like to ride my bicycle, I like to ride my bike ! ( dedicated to Smorg )

Duncan, as a professional photographer, has been asked to judge the Drake Queen contest, which has been particularly difficult task due to the gorgeousness of the entrants. Priscbilla Queen of the Taff Embankment ( and friend ) have taken the prize this year by a whisker, or should I say feather ?

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She keeps her Moet et Chandon in a pretty cabinet ..   ( not pictured )

Gerald has been busy getting in touch with his inner duckling and having fun on the bouncy castle with James and Ellie, before getting off (feeling rather queasy)  and staggering to the nearest Pimms bar to recover his equilibrium.

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I want to break free, I want to break freeee !

Chloe and Olivia have been looking after the bookstall for their human friend Jo. They are doing a brisk business, especially in some of the classics of Dapphic literature.

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Guaranteed to blow your mind ! .. Anytime !

The chums finally meet up after a hard day’s partying for one final dance to celebrate the lovely time they’ve had at the Cardiff Mardi Gras.

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Don’t stop me now, I’m having such a good time, I’m having a ball !

I hope the people Mardi Gras will be just as successful !

God bless Queen and all who dance to her!

Peace n’ Love y’all !!