Sochi 2014

An exclusive report from Clare Baldwing for the Duck Broadcasting Corporation at the Duck Winter Games in Sochi…


“We are witnessing a momentous event in British Sport. Speed Skating Star Kate “the skate” who has been through such a lot in the past few months with an injured wing, has taken Gold at the 2014 Olympic final, the first time someone from the United KIngdom ┬áhas done so.

As the flags were lowered to the British National Anthem, Kate and her best friend and closest rival Danielle from the American team, unfurled a banner which I think says it all. We sincerely hope that our human friends can put aside their prejudices and treat each other with respect and dignity, as we ducks learned to do many years ago.

Joining the athletes at the podium are Pieter the husband of the Russian skater Olga along with their little daughter, as well as Brad and Lisa the partners of Danielle and Kate respectively. It is a double celebration for Kate today as she and Lisa announced their engagement this morning. Both of their families are in the crowd, and viewers I can tell you that there is not a dry eye in the house. What a day to remember. We are all very, very proud.”


The Great British Duck Bake Off 2013

The creation and consumption of all things cake-related is very close to the hearts of all ducks. Inspired by that wonderful people BBC TV programme “The Great British Bake Off”, our feathered friends have arranged their own little baking contest.

Two of our friends have fended off fierce competition to reach the finals. Duncan, self-declared expert in cakes, pastries and biscuits (especially in quality control!) and Chloe, Queen of the eggless sponge, will fight it out to take the honour of being Best Baker. They are being judged by Welsh celebrity cooks Pawl and Mari, aided and abetted by their co-presenters Misses Peckins and Gulldrake. They have all had an exceptionally tough time whittling down the numerous contestants and sampling all their delicious offerings.


With the contestants evenly matched everything depends on the final “Showstopper” round, the theme of which is “Hollywood!”

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And the result … ?

Duncan, it was judged, had overreached himself by constructing an enormous Empire State Building complete with sugar paste King Kong. Unfortunately this was disqualified for being far too big (and not, as the Twittersphere would have it, because he splattered poor Pawl with cake mix). Mari also thought the texture of the cake was a tad too dry.

Chloe, however, managed to bake the perfect Showstopper; a model of her favourite film alien “E.T. the Extra-Terrestrial’. The decoration was remarkable and the cake was declared “perfectly moist”. A worthy winner for the Great British Duck Bake Off 2013.

Up and down the ponds and streams of the country, hundreds of ducks and drakes have been inspired to get out their mixing bowls and spoons, and start creating. As Misses Peckins and Gulldrake would say, “On your marks, get set…. BAKE !”